So, This Happened

A mourning dove just flew into my bathroom (where I am) from the kitchen. All the doors were closed. Miracle? Sign? The poor creature is trying to get out… I will try to help…

Later:

I opened the kitchen door, left propped open with a broom, and shooed the poor dear towards the opening, wing and heart beating rapidly to freedom.

Then I remembered that, this morning at Mass, as I was returning to my place after receiving the Eucharist, that I saw a black beetle near the vestibule door, flipped onto its back, legs twitching. A kind man came to sweep it with a St. Jude prayer card towards the outside door and away.

I was then able to reflect on the possible meaning of all this. Yesterday was very hard, both physically and spiritually. I felt as in prison by my financial circumstances, wanting to move to better circumstances but unable to do so for a promise to wait for Jesus to move me.

I very pathetically was begging Jesus for mercy – not even as a prayer, but in a whimper. I was sinking into weakness (also being very tired from the trying night before) – losing faith and wanting to do it my way.

Then, twice this morning, I witnessed a poor trapped creature – one hobbled by physical disability, the other imprisoned by circumstances and very frantic – delivered by One of compassion and mercy. I’ve long known this, but I’m reminded: Hang on. Deliverance is coming.

The song on the radio this morning, in my Uber to Mass: Nick Jonas’s “Sucker” – “I’m a sucker for you/Just say the word and I’ll go anywhere blindly…”. Jonah was trapped in the belly of the whale for three days and nights, captured in his run-away from the city of Nineveh, where God had intended for him to be a prophet to the people in sin, lest the city be destroyed (Nineveh was the capital city of Assyria, a ruthless and warlike nation that was the enemy of Israel – the prophet, in his own sinful anger and resentment, desiring to see the Ninevites perish) – and then he was spit back up on the city’s shores…

Addendum 1:

When I first spied the black beetle on the floor at Mass… inexplicably, it brought to mind a dream I had about my mother and sister over a year ago, before I moved to Las Vegas: two huge rats were in my house, ugly and dirty and mean, with matted fur and bearing sharp teeth – one old and gray and more tired, collapsing in the corner in self-pity, unmotivated to do anything but languish; the other orange-red, active, angry, menacing and charging at me. I lanced both of them; the gray one simply expired, but the red one became demure and my pet. Shortly after this dream, the following day, I understood the “lance” to be unconditional love… But in remembering this dream as I looked at the trapped beetle, my attention was drawn to the gray rat...

Addendum 2:

As I edit this post two hours later, adding in the dream of the rats, I hear a crunching just outside the kitchen screen door. I look to see that same mourning dove milling about in the leaves a few feet away…

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