It Never Ends

About two years ago, I had a dream: I was standing outside in a garden by a beautiful pool covered with water lilies. A young, beautiful woman was there, holding an infant in her arms. Somehow, I knew her name – Anna Maria. She told me that she needed help taking care of her baby boy and asked if I would help her. I said, “Yes, I will.” She was relieved and glad, and then I began to wade into the pool, among the water lilies…

About six months after that, I was praying during Mass, after receiving Holy Communion, before a statue of Our Blessed Mother. I asked her, “Blessed Mother, what should I do? What should I do with my life?” Immediately, I felt her say to me distinctly, interiorly, “My son, my Church needs you.” And I thought of the dream…

Today, I was praying the Rosary after Mass, and, towards the end, I looked up to a bas relief image of the s Holy Family, focusing my gaze specifically on the Blessed Mother. I was concentrating on the acute, almost desperate need of conversions of souls the world over. Other than that, my mind was a blank. And then, completely unsolicited – I was not asking or seeking anything in particular – interiorly, I felt her say to me, “Help me.” I looked down; I thought that this couldn’t be happening again – I’m not that special. I kept praying – but, then, unable to help the impulse, I looked up at the image of Our Lady, and it heard it again: “Help me.”

I almost cannot believe it, but she is certainly trying to tell me – repeatedly, beyond any inconstancy of my own – that she wants me to help the sick Church.

Dear Lady, help me to help. What do want me to do? Keep writing? Start speaking publicly about my re-conversion and rejection of sin and transformation? I’m speaking to a confirmation class at church soon. Should I start addressing the masses on YouTube? Should I not give up but only persevere on my idea for a weekly public Rosary for world peace and conversions? Madonna, if you need me, help me. Help me to know your desire specifically, so that I can comply. Whatever my physical challenges, I’ll do what you ask, because I know you can make it possible. Please come through – and I’m yours. I’ll give you everything.

Madonna, pray for me.