After recent feedback from a concerned (if a bit hasty) party, I need to clarify something. I am not now, never have been, and never will be suicidal. I like being alive. God’s gift inflames me with faith and hope in possibilities, and loving others is bliss that nothing matches. The work of being on Earth, the rigors and the tumult and the muscling through (as limp and wan as am at this point) and the commitment and the blood and sweat and tears – it all always goes somewhere. And the reward is great. It’s just really horrible sometimes. I’m weak and I fall and curse the pain and the cross and want with all my being to be out from under the weight of it. Any normal human being with a body and feelings does. But I’m here. And I will continue to be. God has a mission for me/us. Things will change. Nothing lasts forever but God and His promise.
In the process I see God, and this I love.
Under the Mantle 